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Jokes
A blackjack dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand were arguing about whether or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer.
The player said, 'When I get bad cards, it's not the dealers fault. Similarly, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously had nothing to do with it so why should I tip him?'
The dealer interrupted, 'When you eat out do you tip the waiter?'
'Yes,' replied the player.
'Well then, he serves you food, I'm serving you cards so you should tip me.'
'OK,' smiled the player. 'But, the waiter always gives me exactly what I ask for . . . so I'll take an eight please.'Tom came home from the casino one night and was met at the door by his wife. Much to his dismay she hit him on the head with a rolling pin?
'Why did you do that?' he asked.
'I found a piece of paper in your jacket pocket with the name Mary Lou written on it,' she replies
Tom explained 'That's the name of a horse I got a hot tip on.' She accepts his explanation and apologizes for whacking him.
A few days later, she nails him on the head again, even harder. When he regains consciousness, Tom asked, 'Why on earth did you hit me again?'A well dressed man was walking along in the country when he came upon a shepherd. He says,
'Listen, Mr Farmer, I bet I can guess how many sheep you have.'
The farmer starts to laugh:
'I have a lot of sheep. You'll couldn't possibly guess how many.'
'Do you want to make a bet?' asks the man. 'If I can guess how many sheep you have, you'll give me one of your sheep. If I can't, I'll pay you £500.'
The shepherd agrees: 'Ok, how many there are?'
'You have exactly 1,742 sheep,' says the man.
The shepherd is shocked: 'Incredible! I really do have 1,742 sheep! Well, a bet's a bet. Choose the sheep you want.'
'OK, I'll take this one,' says the man, picking up one of the animals.
Wait a moment, sir,' says the shepherd. 'Let's make another bet: If I can guess your job, you will give me back my sheep, and if I don't, you can take another one.' The man agrees to the bet and the shepherd
says, 'You're an accountant.'
'Unbelievable
! Well done! But how did you know?' enquires the man.
'Put my dog down, and I'll explain.'
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| Keno Software
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